Not About Me

When I first started speaking, I was 24. A mentor threw me in— “You’re up tonight.” No roadmap, just one tip: tell stories.

I made it through.

A few years later, after a bigger talk, I walked off thinking I did well. He didn’t say, “Great job.” He asked, “Why did you focus on the negative guy?”

He was right. One disengaged person pulled my attention—even though everyone else was locked in.

Then he said something I never forgot: “Why focus on one, when the many are with you?”

That hit me—ego. It was about me, not them.

That lesson stuck.

In The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, before Habit 1, Stephen Covey lays the foundation—paradigms, Circle of Influence vs. Concern, and most importantly: Personality Ethic vs. Character Ethic.

Personality is surface—image, tactics, approval. Character is depth—integrity, values, who you are.

If you want to lead, speak, or have hard conversations, it starts there.

When your foundation is character, it’s no longer about proving yourself. It’s about serving others.

So, here’s the question: Where are you making it about you? And where do you need to shift back to serving?

Build the character. The impact follows.