Not a 50/50 Marriage
As my wife and I were coming up on our 27th wedding anniversary, I got to thinking.
I’m thankful that they’ve been excellent years, and hopefully, we’ll have endless more to go. Reflecting on our marriage, I’m reminded of some great advice our friend and mentor offered us many years ago…
Marriage is not 50/50; it’s 100/100.
Simple as that sounds, it speaks to several things that I believe have contributed to what Amy and I both feel continues to be a wonderful marriage:
1. Don’t keep score. If we’re focused on 100% giving, keeping score is unnecessary.
2. Love is unconditional. We each give 100% regardless of what the other is willing to give - it's not about looking for balance, just being willing to always give our best. Kind of goes back to the scoring thing.
3. We minimize or eliminate the danger of comparison. While there are some things I do better, and definitely many things Amy does better to make our marriage thrive, we always strive to give all of us to it – 100%. No comparison – my contribution is not “more” or “less” than Amy’s. It’s 100%. Period.
4. We’re both ALL IN. As opposed to HALF IN. All is better.
We have our issues and challenges, just like everyone else. But this 100/100 mindset has proved to be a very healthy way to drive our relationship.
In fact, it might just apply to other relationships as well. Imagine 100/100 in our sibling relationships, customer/client relationships or workplace contribution – the teamwork, synergy, and engagement would be remarkable!
Whatever the relationship, be all in, 100%. It’s just better.