Mind the Gap

Sometimes Amy and I will be having a conversation. We finish, there's a little silence, and my mind moves on to something completely different.

Then, out of nowhere, I start talking about whatever I've been thinking.

Amy looks at me like I've lost my mind.

Apparently, she wasn't part of the conversation happening inside my head.

Imagine that!

It happens more often than I'd like to admit. Usually, we get a good laugh out of it.

But I've been thinking about changing that habit.

Which got me thinking about habits themselves.

Our brains are pretty remarkable. They learn to automate things we do repeatedly, like brushing our teeth. Ingrained habits require zero energy expenditure.

That's great when it's a good habit.

Not so great when it isn't.

Remember defragging a computer? Those little colored bars moving around as the computer reorganized information, reducing gaps and creating a more efficient system?

I sometimes picture our habits that way.

Over time, our brains create more efficient pathways for familiar behaviors.

But when we want to change one of those behaviors, there's resistance.

There's friction in becoming someone different.

And that brings me back to Amy.

First, I have to recognize what I'm doing. Then I need to catch myself before jumping into a conversation she doesn't even know we're having.

Maybe something as simple as, "Hey, I just had another thought..."

Small change. Intentional practice. Repetition.

Eventually, what requires conscious effort today can become more natural tomorrow.

That's how we grow.

And it goes well beyond conversations.

What am I doing that I should stop?

What am I doing inconsistently that deserves greater attention?

What behavior would help others experience me the way I truly want them to?

Every small, intentional choice becomes evidence of who we're becoming.

And with enough practice, those choices begin to shape our identity.

So, here's my question:

What habit is creating a gap between who you are today and who you want to become?

Mind the gap.