Compassion

I was in my office at my desk making client calls.  My “office” was upstairs in the loft. The loft was where the printing company stored paper inventory and had some large format equipment.

Most of the time it was just me up there, but occasionally Joe, the digital format guy, would be up there cutting some foamboard for print.  

This time it was me at my desk, Joe at the equipment, and Troy chewing on his ear.  Troy was the Production Manager, and a good one.  He was quick, tough, decisive, and yet sometimes difficult to deal with.

I noticed some slightly higher volume words as I came off a call. While on the next call, the background conversation became a bit more animated. Not too much of a surprise as Troy could sometimes be a little unapproachable when things got tense, while Joe was easier going.

But then it got bad. Voices were raised as emotions soared.  I tried to act like nothing was going on, “nothing to see hear” …but it elevated and almost seemed like a fight would break out.

Then, it was quiet.  Nothing. I pretended not to notice.

I looked back, kind of peripherally, and saw they were sitting side by side on the step.  Troy was facing Joe, whose head was down.  I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.  Rather than Joe getting fired I saw something quite different. Compassion.

Everything changed. I could see Troy completely adapted his demeanor from hard-edged manager to compassionate friend. Just sitting there talking to Joe.  I imagine something switched in Troy because Joe’s demeanor was not normal. Joe was never aggressive, argumentative, or difficult.  Troy must have thought, Wait, something’s wrong. Stop. Listen.

I never found out what happened that day, but my respect for Troy skyrocketed.  He cared. And he was humble enough to show it.

I think I learned to dig deeper in my assessment, conscious or not, of people around me.  Troy surprised me and it was a welcome change.

It taught me to see people better. To make generous assumptions first.  To “step back” and pause when things are getting out of hand. I wish I did this all the time, but I’m better than I was and getting better every day.

That’s the goal. Better every day.