Hawaii Five-O

Have you ever driven a pontoon boat? My first experience was one to remember.

Probably 20 years ago my wife and I were on a trip with two other couples down in Marco Island, Florida.  One of the days we decided to rent a pontoon boat to take out into some of the tributaries inside the shoreline.  I was the leader – the driver of the boat. None of us had any experience. So out we went with me at the helm.

A couple of interesting things happened while I was the Captain, the self-appointed leader.

First, while pulling a tube carrying my highly organized, detailed and intelligent Civil Engineer friend, I turned into the rope and he was promptly cut off.  The rope was cut completely in half. I was somewhat redeemed when, while we pulled in the rope, we noticed several knotted areas along the way. We just added one more.

Later, again pulling another engineer friend, this one Structural Engineering, I ran the boat aground. We all got out and pulled the boat free. And once again, I resumed my esteemed role at the helm.

A little later, we were trolling along the deeper and wider part of the tributary.  We pulled close to a large yacht.  It was moving a little too slowly for my patience, so I tried to pass it. Big mistake. The huge wake from the yacht combined with my aggressive driving led me to my best and last blunder.

My wife, 7 months pregnant, was in the very front of the pontoon. I was trying to pass this lazy yacht and gunned it just as we hit the top of a large wake. We speared to bottom and, consequently, drove a huge wave to roll directly over the front of our boat. Can anyone say, “Hawaii Five-O”? I thought for sure everything on the front deck would be flushed into the water, including my wife. Thankfully, she just got soaked!

Despite my small success there, I was promptly fired.

The lesson my passengers learned that day? Be careful who is leading you.